visionshadows | things i have decided...

1. I will not eat broccoli at work anymore. Even though I love broccoli.*

2. I hate bras. I am boycotting wearing bras unless I'm going somewhere nice where a bra would be necessary. I will live in bra-tops and cotton bras without underwires.**

3. I will no longer trust my coworkers. Because trusting my coworkers means I get fucked.***

4. Wifely duties suck. And no, I don't mean the sex ones. I mean the ones where I'm supposed to clean and cook and keep a presentable house. Luckily

iterationzero doesn't seem to mind that I really don't do any of those things.****

5. I will stop reading porn at work. No. Really.*****

6. I am not the very model of a modern major general.******

7. I will start writing my fic for

rayk97s. Even though the very concept of the fic makes

dayse cry. And it makes me sad.*******

* Addendum to 1: Thank god we have private bathrooms.
** Addendum to 2: My boobs look really small these days.
*** Addendum to 3: Cheryl is okay. And occasionally Paul. Unless I'm annoyed with him. And Julio. Everyone else can go fuck themselves with a barbed dildo. Yes. I'm mad.
**** Addendum to 4: I made a huge casserole dish of homemade macaroni and cheese last night and did laundry. I've fulfilled my wifely duties for another week. Except for the sex part. That's tomorrow.
***** Addendum to 5: Yeah. Riiiiight.
****** Addendum to 6: But I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuniform.
******* Addendum to 7: Um. Maybe.