visionshadows (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
visionshadows) wrote2002-10-09 06:36 pm
visionshadows) wrote2002-10-09 06:36 pm
I really feel the need to post because my friendslist isn't changing. :(
At one point in time, I did have an entire series for Chris and Josh from Human Behaviour. Now all I have is little bits that fit together sort of and on occasion make sense in the HB world.
And heee. Christopher Walken is reading Goodnight, Moon on the Simpsons. "Scootch closer, children. Don't make me tell you again about the scootching."
Josh hung up the phone slowly, putting the receiver back in the cradle as carefully as possible. He stood up and walked out of the bedroom where Chris was snoring softly and down the hall to the bathroom. He didn’t even turn on the light as he flipped up the toilet seat and kneeled before it, retching loudly. He gripped the cold porcelain, feeling it slide between his fingers.
Josh felt Chris’s hand on his back, his fingers smoothing over his damp skin. Chris settled on his side and waited until Josh stopped, sniffling as he reached up to flush the toilet. Chris handed him a small glass of water and a tissue. Josh rinsed his mouth out and wiped at his eyes before leaning into Chris.
“What’s wrong?” asked Chris gently, holding Josh close. He could feel Josh’s tears against his bare shoulder and that worried him. They had both gotten home early and had an early dinner before going upstairs. Josh had seemed fine after they made love. Apparently something happened while Chris was napping.
Josh didn’t say anything, his fingers digging into Chris’s back so hard Chris winced. Chris sighed a little and rubbed his back, just waiting.
“My mom called,” Josh sniffled, lifting his head to look at Chris. “She left my father. She packed her stuff up and moved out.”
“Oh honey,” Chris said sadly, hugging him close. “Where’s she at?”
“Gram’s,” Josh closed his eyes, dropping his head to Chris’s shoulder again. “I can’t believe this. And she left him to deal with Tyler.”
“Did she tell you why she left?” asked Chris gently, his fingers on the back of Josh’s neck.
“She was tired of him, Chris. That’s it. She said that she needed her own life and she was tired of living his,” Josh dug his fingers into Chris’s sides this time, angry. “I can’t believe that she just got tired of him after twenty-five years together.”
“It happens,” Chris said to him as carefully as he could. “Twenty-five years is a long time. Look at my family. Mom and whoever she’s married to at the time seem to get bored of each other in about three years. Are they actually getting a divorce?”
Josh shrugged. “She said separated. I guess that means they are.”
“Maybe not,” Chris hugged him again. “Honey, they need a break. Don’t get angry at them for that.”
Josh pulled back abruptly, standing up and walking back into the bedroom. He climbed under the covers and rolled onto his side, his back to Chris’s side of the bed. Chris sighed a little and followed him, sitting on the bed next to him, a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Chris wasn’t expecting a response and he didn’t get one. He just leaned over and kissed Josh’s cheek. “I’m going to go watch TV if you want to join me.” Still no answer. He sighed a little. “Okay. Love you.”
Josh still didn’t answer. Chris pulled a T-shirt on and headed downstairs to watch TV and attempt to figure out what to do.
“Did you even go to work today?” asked Chris, his arms crossed as he looked down at Josh.
Josh didn’t answer him as he concentrated on the video game he was playing. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and a stained T-shirt. In Chris’s opinion, it looked like he hadn’t showered today and he obviously hadn’t shaved.
Chris sighed and stepped forward, shutting the video game off and standing in front of the TV.
“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Josh angrily. “I was on level 8. I’ve been trying all fucking day to get that far.”
“Well that answers the work question,” Chris said dryly. “You have to go to work tomorrow.”
“Why?” Josh looked up at him sullenly. Chris could see smudges on Josh’s glasses and he knelt down next to him, taking them off and wiping them on his own shirt. He put them back on and looked Josh in the eye.
“Look. I know this sucks but you can’t let it ruin your life. What happened between your parents wasn’t your fault so stop acting like it is. If you don’t go to work, then you don’t make any money. And if you don’t make any money, then we default on the mortgage payment because I can’t afford to cover it by myself and pay the rest of the bills.”
“I deserve to live on the street.” Josh mumbled.
“Yeah well I don’t,” Chris glared at him. “Get your shit together, Josh. I’m sick of this poor me crap. It’s not cute and it’s not endearing. Life sucks and you get shit on all the time. The only way to survive is to learn from what happens and not let it beat you.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Fuck that,” Chris reached out and grabbed Josh’s chin, making Josh look at him. “My whole life I’ve watched my mother get married and then get divorced, usually ending up with another kid out of the deal and a deadbeat who won’t pay for them. It’s taken her twenty fucking years and three husbands to get her own home and her own life. You’re twenty-three. It’s not like you’re a five year-old kid who doesn’t understand why the hell your father has just up and disappeared on you.”
Josh sniffed a little. “Still hurts.”
“You get used to it after awhile,” Chris grumbled, standing up. “Go shower. You stink.”
“Just because I haven’t had your life doesn’t mean I don’t know how it feels to hurt,” Josh stood up as well. “You’ve met my family. My parents and Heather are great. Tyler…Tyler hates me. I’ve spent my life dealing with his shit and being the embarrassment of his entire life. Don’t think you’ve had it worse than me. At least your sisters love you.”
“Let’s not play this game,” Chris said, his hand on the doorframe. “I’d rather not think about the past since I’ve managed to succeed and get past what I was. I fought to get here, Josh, and I won’t let you guilt me into thinking that I was lucky to have four other mouths to feed when all I wanted to do was feed my own.”
Josh watched him go before sitting back on the ground and turning the video game back on. He pressed play and started over again at the beginning.
Josh crept upstairs slowly. It was late and the house was dark. He knew that Chris was upstairs because he hadn’t come downstairs at all. Josh looked at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was carrying and hoped that Chris would at least take it. He hated knowing Chris skipped meals because of him.
Chris was still awake, sitting up in bed reading a book that Josh didn’t recognize from the jacket. Chris usually read the same few books over and over again but this was something different. Josh wondered when Chris bought the book.
“You’re sleeping in here?” asked Chris coolly, turning the page without looking at Josh.
Josh looked down at the sandwich and sniffed a little. “I was planning to. Like, I’ll shower first if that’s what’s bothering you.”
Chris looked over at Josh for a moment, peering over the rims of his glasses. “You know that’s not what’s bothering me.”
Josh slunk over to the bed, sitting down on his side. Wordlessly he handed Chris the sandwich, looking at him quietly. Chris looked at the plate for a moment before taking it. He put the book down, pulling his knees up to balance the plate on it. Josh watched as Chris took a bite, swallowing after he chewed.
“Thank you.”
“I know you didn’t eat,” Josh said softly, feeling like a complete jerk. He hadn’t meant to upset Chris as much as he had. He knew how touchy Chris was about his past and the things he had done for his family. He never wanted to throw that in Chris’s face, to remind him of the suckiness of his life when he was younger. “I’m going to go to work tomorrow. And I did call out today. I took a personal day.”
Chris took another bite of the sandwich. “I was lucky I had them.”
Josh moved closer, sliding behind Chris a little and resting his head on Chris’s shoulder, an arm secure around Chris’s waist. “They were lucky to have you too.”
Chris licked his lips and turned his head to kiss Josh’s forehead. “I know this sucks, baby, but you can’t let it ruin your life. It’s a tough thing to realize your parents are people too and they have real problems. You were lucky because you got to be an adult when you found that out.”
Josh nodded, sniffling a little. “It’s just. I thought they loved each other so much. I always wanted my relationships to be like that. If…if they can fail like this, who’s to say that I won’t too.”
Chris put down the sandwich and turned a little so he had his hands on Josh’s sides. He bumped Josh with his shoulder to make him look up. “Me, that’s who. I’m not going anywhere, Josh. I’m here for the long haul and I’ll be damned if I let you go now or twenty-five years from now.”
“Oh,” Josh looked at him silently, his blue eyes filling with tears. He’d already cried enough but sometimes Chris went and said something like that and he would turn to goo. He sniffled a little and wiped his nose on his sleeve when Chris pulled back to reach for his sandwich again. “Thank you.”
Chris smiled at him and kissed him lightly, tasting like peanut butter. Josh smiled back and wiped at his eyes this time, wondering where he’d left his own glasses. Probably downstairs with the video games since he’d spent the last sixteen hours in the den playing them.
“Go shower,” said Chris, stretching his arms above his head. “I’m tired and you stink.”
“I thought you didn’t care about that.” Josh teased, already getting out of bed. He wanted to shower anyway. He felt gross.
“I lied,” Chris laughed. “It was bothering me a little.”
Josh leaned over and kissed Chris once more, quickly. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
Chris watched him go, waiting until he heard the shower start before he climbed out of bed himself. He headed back downstairs to put the plate away and get a drink. He paused at the mantle, looking at the pictures there. He picked up one of Josh and his family, looking at the way they all smiled and leaned into each other. Josh’s dad was standing behind his mom, a hand on her shoulder. She was reaching up a hand to hold his in return.
Chris really hoped that things worked out for them. He’d never had a family like that before he met Josh. He didn’t want to lose them either.
See the pretty version [here] as well as another Chris/Josh short called [Laura]
And heee. Christopher Walken is reading Goodnight, Moon on the Simpsons. "Scootch closer, children. Don't make me tell you again about the scootching."
Josh hung up the phone slowly, putting the receiver back in the cradle as carefully as possible. He stood up and walked out of the bedroom where Chris was snoring softly and down the hall to the bathroom. He didn’t even turn on the light as he flipped up the toilet seat and kneeled before it, retching loudly. He gripped the cold porcelain, feeling it slide between his fingers.
Josh felt Chris’s hand on his back, his fingers smoothing over his damp skin. Chris settled on his side and waited until Josh stopped, sniffling as he reached up to flush the toilet. Chris handed him a small glass of water and a tissue. Josh rinsed his mouth out and wiped at his eyes before leaning into Chris.
“What’s wrong?” asked Chris gently, holding Josh close. He could feel Josh’s tears against his bare shoulder and that worried him. They had both gotten home early and had an early dinner before going upstairs. Josh had seemed fine after they made love. Apparently something happened while Chris was napping.
Josh didn’t say anything, his fingers digging into Chris’s back so hard Chris winced. Chris sighed a little and rubbed his back, just waiting.
“My mom called,” Josh sniffled, lifting his head to look at Chris. “She left my father. She packed her stuff up and moved out.”
“Oh honey,” Chris said sadly, hugging him close. “Where’s she at?”
“Gram’s,” Josh closed his eyes, dropping his head to Chris’s shoulder again. “I can’t believe this. And she left him to deal with Tyler.”
“Did she tell you why she left?” asked Chris gently, his fingers on the back of Josh’s neck.
“She was tired of him, Chris. That’s it. She said that she needed her own life and she was tired of living his,” Josh dug his fingers into Chris’s sides this time, angry. “I can’t believe that she just got tired of him after twenty-five years together.”
“It happens,” Chris said to him as carefully as he could. “Twenty-five years is a long time. Look at my family. Mom and whoever she’s married to at the time seem to get bored of each other in about three years. Are they actually getting a divorce?”
Josh shrugged. “She said separated. I guess that means they are.”
“Maybe not,” Chris hugged him again. “Honey, they need a break. Don’t get angry at them for that.”
Josh pulled back abruptly, standing up and walking back into the bedroom. He climbed under the covers and rolled onto his side, his back to Chris’s side of the bed. Chris sighed a little and followed him, sitting on the bed next to him, a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Chris wasn’t expecting a response and he didn’t get one. He just leaned over and kissed Josh’s cheek. “I’m going to go watch TV if you want to join me.” Still no answer. He sighed a little. “Okay. Love you.”
Josh still didn’t answer. Chris pulled a T-shirt on and headed downstairs to watch TV and attempt to figure out what to do.
“Did you even go to work today?” asked Chris, his arms crossed as he looked down at Josh.
Josh didn’t answer him as he concentrated on the video game he was playing. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and a stained T-shirt. In Chris’s opinion, it looked like he hadn’t showered today and he obviously hadn’t shaved.
Chris sighed and stepped forward, shutting the video game off and standing in front of the TV.
“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Josh angrily. “I was on level 8. I’ve been trying all fucking day to get that far.”
“Well that answers the work question,” Chris said dryly. “You have to go to work tomorrow.”
“Why?” Josh looked up at him sullenly. Chris could see smudges on Josh’s glasses and he knelt down next to him, taking them off and wiping them on his own shirt. He put them back on and looked Josh in the eye.
“Look. I know this sucks but you can’t let it ruin your life. What happened between your parents wasn’t your fault so stop acting like it is. If you don’t go to work, then you don’t make any money. And if you don’t make any money, then we default on the mortgage payment because I can’t afford to cover it by myself and pay the rest of the bills.”
“I deserve to live on the street.” Josh mumbled.
“Yeah well I don’t,” Chris glared at him. “Get your shit together, Josh. I’m sick of this poor me crap. It’s not cute and it’s not endearing. Life sucks and you get shit on all the time. The only way to survive is to learn from what happens and not let it beat you.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Fuck that,” Chris reached out and grabbed Josh’s chin, making Josh look at him. “My whole life I’ve watched my mother get married and then get divorced, usually ending up with another kid out of the deal and a deadbeat who won’t pay for them. It’s taken her twenty fucking years and three husbands to get her own home and her own life. You’re twenty-three. It’s not like you’re a five year-old kid who doesn’t understand why the hell your father has just up and disappeared on you.”
Josh sniffed a little. “Still hurts.”
“You get used to it after awhile,” Chris grumbled, standing up. “Go shower. You stink.”
“Just because I haven’t had your life doesn’t mean I don’t know how it feels to hurt,” Josh stood up as well. “You’ve met my family. My parents and Heather are great. Tyler…Tyler hates me. I’ve spent my life dealing with his shit and being the embarrassment of his entire life. Don’t think you’ve had it worse than me. At least your sisters love you.”
“Let’s not play this game,” Chris said, his hand on the doorframe. “I’d rather not think about the past since I’ve managed to succeed and get past what I was. I fought to get here, Josh, and I won’t let you guilt me into thinking that I was lucky to have four other mouths to feed when all I wanted to do was feed my own.”
Josh watched him go before sitting back on the ground and turning the video game back on. He pressed play and started over again at the beginning.
Josh crept upstairs slowly. It was late and the house was dark. He knew that Chris was upstairs because he hadn’t come downstairs at all. Josh looked at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he was carrying and hoped that Chris would at least take it. He hated knowing Chris skipped meals because of him.
Chris was still awake, sitting up in bed reading a book that Josh didn’t recognize from the jacket. Chris usually read the same few books over and over again but this was something different. Josh wondered when Chris bought the book.
“You’re sleeping in here?” asked Chris coolly, turning the page without looking at Josh.
Josh looked down at the sandwich and sniffed a little. “I was planning to. Like, I’ll shower first if that’s what’s bothering you.”
Chris looked over at Josh for a moment, peering over the rims of his glasses. “You know that’s not what’s bothering me.”
Josh slunk over to the bed, sitting down on his side. Wordlessly he handed Chris the sandwich, looking at him quietly. Chris looked at the plate for a moment before taking it. He put the book down, pulling his knees up to balance the plate on it. Josh watched as Chris took a bite, swallowing after he chewed.
“Thank you.”
“I know you didn’t eat,” Josh said softly, feeling like a complete jerk. He hadn’t meant to upset Chris as much as he had. He knew how touchy Chris was about his past and the things he had done for his family. He never wanted to throw that in Chris’s face, to remind him of the suckiness of his life when he was younger. “I’m going to go to work tomorrow. And I did call out today. I took a personal day.”
Chris took another bite of the sandwich. “I was lucky I had them.”
Josh moved closer, sliding behind Chris a little and resting his head on Chris’s shoulder, an arm secure around Chris’s waist. “They were lucky to have you too.”
Chris licked his lips and turned his head to kiss Josh’s forehead. “I know this sucks, baby, but you can’t let it ruin your life. It’s a tough thing to realize your parents are people too and they have real problems. You were lucky because you got to be an adult when you found that out.”
Josh nodded, sniffling a little. “It’s just. I thought they loved each other so much. I always wanted my relationships to be like that. If…if they can fail like this, who’s to say that I won’t too.”
Chris put down the sandwich and turned a little so he had his hands on Josh’s sides. He bumped Josh with his shoulder to make him look up. “Me, that’s who. I’m not going anywhere, Josh. I’m here for the long haul and I’ll be damned if I let you go now or twenty-five years from now.”
“Oh,” Josh looked at him silently, his blue eyes filling with tears. He’d already cried enough but sometimes Chris went and said something like that and he would turn to goo. He sniffled a little and wiped his nose on his sleeve when Chris pulled back to reach for his sandwich again. “Thank you.”
Chris smiled at him and kissed him lightly, tasting like peanut butter. Josh smiled back and wiped at his eyes this time, wondering where he’d left his own glasses. Probably downstairs with the video games since he’d spent the last sixteen hours in the den playing them.
“Go shower,” said Chris, stretching his arms above his head. “I’m tired and you stink.”
“I thought you didn’t care about that.” Josh teased, already getting out of bed. He wanted to shower anyway. He felt gross.
“I lied,” Chris laughed. “It was bothering me a little.”
Josh leaned over and kissed Chris once more, quickly. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
Chris watched him go, waiting until he heard the shower start before he climbed out of bed himself. He headed back downstairs to put the plate away and get a drink. He paused at the mantle, looking at the pictures there. He picked up one of Josh and his family, looking at the way they all smiled and leaned into each other. Josh’s dad was standing behind his mom, a hand on her shoulder. She was reaching up a hand to hold his in return.
Chris really hoped that things worked out for them. He’d never had a family like that before he met Josh. He didn’t want to lose them either.
See the pretty version [here] as well as another Chris/Josh short called [Laura]
no subject
I forgot how sad the Laura fibit made me though...poor Lance & Justin.
Re:
Chris and Josh, the series
Re: Chris and Josh, the series