(no subject)

Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering]
Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo".
Narrator: I don't own...

(no subject)

Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering]
Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo".
Narrator: I don't own...

(no subject)

Today's plan:

Shower - completed.

...

Go out with Mom - pending.

Watch Fight Club - pending.

Therapy at 7:30 - pending.

Download pictures of Rottweilers, Collies, and children for graphical purposes - completed.

...

I forget what to do when I don't have stuff to do. I kind of forget how to be a lazy bum.

Daaaayse! Help me!

(no subject)

Today's plan:

Shower - completed.

...

Go out with Mom - pending.

Watch Fight Club - pending.

Therapy at 7:30 - pending.

Download pictures of Rottweilers, Collies, and children for graphical purposes - completed.

...

I forget what to do when I don't have stuff to do. I kind of forget how to be a lazy bum.

Daaaayse! Help me!