ramblings...
Mar. 5th, 2002 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
visionshadows
When I was younger, I used to dream about getting away from home. I seriously looked at colleges in Montana and Alaska, thinking the further away the better. I was a strong kid, I could live away from home and make my future. I didn't need to tie myself to my family and I really didn't want to stay in South Jersey. I really wanted to go to Montana. I've never been there and I don't know if I will ever be there but for about three years, I was certain my future lay in Montana. I don't know why. No one goes to Montana.*
I can't leave now. I don't want to leave now. I've spent the last month alone, living in a house by myself with only a dog around. I can't do it. I need my mother and my father. I need to know that someone else is sleeping in the house with me. I need to know that I'm not alone. It's become some sort of obsession almost. I check the house three times before I go upstairs and I have Maeling sleep with me. It's not the same.
I like home. I like my mom. I like my bed. I like my house. I even like South Jersey.
On a completely different note...this is only the tail end of a long conversation about how weird I am which involved me sniffing Raccoon and proclaiming he smells like coffee and discussing searching for raccoons in NYC toy stores...
Dayse: i'm just thinking about weird child!rache
Dayse: trying to part the sea like Moses
Dayse: *giggle*
rachel: i was just trying to re-enact the bible. i was *learning*! ned flanders would have approved
Dayse: heh
Dayse: did you ever succeed?
Dayse: did you part the lawn? :)
rachel: no :(
rachel: i didn't have a lawn
rachel: i lived in a row home.
rachel: i guess i could have parted the concrete
rachel: but it didn't ever work
Dayse: aw
Dayse: that would have been impressive
rachel: tell me about it.
I think I might need to go to bed soon. I have a midterm I haven't studied for at all tomorrow.
*I think I may have just figured out why I'm obsessed with Rhys' Montana. It never clicked until now.
I can't leave now. I don't want to leave now. I've spent the last month alone, living in a house by myself with only a dog around. I can't do it. I need my mother and my father. I need to know that someone else is sleeping in the house with me. I need to know that I'm not alone. It's become some sort of obsession almost. I check the house three times before I go upstairs and I have Maeling sleep with me. It's not the same.
I like home. I like my mom. I like my bed. I like my house. I even like South Jersey.
On a completely different note...this is only the tail end of a long conversation about how weird I am which involved me sniffing Raccoon and proclaiming he smells like coffee and discussing searching for raccoons in NYC toy stores...
Dayse: i'm just thinking about weird child!rache
Dayse: trying to part the sea like Moses
Dayse: *giggle*
rachel: i was just trying to re-enact the bible. i was *learning*! ned flanders would have approved
Dayse: heh
Dayse: did you ever succeed?
Dayse: did you part the lawn? :)
rachel: no :(
rachel: i didn't have a lawn
rachel: i lived in a row home.
rachel: i guess i could have parted the concrete
rachel: but it didn't ever work
Dayse: aw
Dayse: that would have been impressive
rachel: tell me about it.
I think I might need to go to bed soon. I have a midterm I haven't studied for at all tomorrow.
*I think I may have just figured out why I'm obsessed with Rhys' Montana. It never clicked until now.