wilby wonderful ... and then some

[visionshadows]

so dayse and i watched wilby wonderful tonight together. of course by together, i mean on our own computers and squeeing everytime duck appeared on the screen. cause you know. new jersey vs. ontario. we're not exactly close. hehe. but i digress.

omg that movie is wonderful!

[snuggles movie]



[rachel] there's gotta be a ton of backstory between duck and buddy though
[rachel] that scene in the car
[rachel] it was tense
[dayse] oh yeah
[rachel] i'm guessing it's cause of the high school sex
[dayse] oh yeah
[rachel] and buddy's not gay anymore. it was just experimenting for him, but duck's gay and sometimes buddy looks at him and wonders what might have been if he'd just let duck take him away from wilby after they graduated
[dayse] and i bet buddy was like ... a football player or something
[dayse] and popular
[dayse] got invited to all the parties
[dayse] and duck was short for his age and little and didn't do well in school cuz he was dyslexi but no one knew what that was
[rachel] sandra made a comment about he never looked at her in high school. she was slut and from the wrong side of the tracks and buddy was the king of the school and eh couldn't date a girl like that
[dayse] oooh - i totally forgot that
[rachel] but duck, duck took care of him when no one was looking and duck was friends with sandra because they were both different
[rachel] but duck never told her why. only buddy
[dayse] [sigh] and duck had a crush on buddy
[dayse] and he would maybe follow him from a distant, peek out at him from behind lockers
[dayse] go to football practices
[rachel] and then one day, buddy said yes. and duck thought he had been given the world on a silver platter
[dayse] [sighs again]
[dayse] and duck is a total 'all or nothing' guy
[dayse] so he falls head over heels in love
[rachel] because duck just wants to love and be loved
[rachel] he's a romantical guy like that
[dayse] he is
[dayse] but buddy, even tho he really likes duck cuz no one can HATE duck, just really is curious and likese the sex
[rachel] cause sex is sex
[rachel] but not to duck
[rachel] he wants it to be about love
[rachel] and he can almost fool himself that it is, but he knows it's not when buddy won't look at him afterwards
[rachel] just hands him his shirt and asks if he needs a ride home
[dayse] gah [cries]
[dayse] and then buddy will tell him they shouldn't see each other any more
[dayse] cuz he's seeing the head cheerleader, or the prom queen or whatnot
[dayse] and then there's college
[rachel] but then he'll come back and duck can't say no to him
[dayse] and duck will just get hurt all over again
[dayse] cuz he can't help but believe maybe buddy is coming around THIS time
[rachel] because he loves buddy and when buddy kisses him, duck thinks that maybe this is what love is about
[dayse] duck is such an idealest at heart, he has to believe that buddy loves him at least half as much as he loves buddy
[dayse] because if buddy didn't, than why would buddy sleep with him?
[rachel] because duck wants to believe in the good in everyone. buddy's not like sandra, searching for someone to love him. he's got duck to love him
[dayse] than i bet buddy does something really stupid
[dayse] like ... makes fun of duck with his jock buddies
[dayse] or call him a name and yells that it was just fucking, noting more, and buddy doesn't love duck
[rachel] and duck just looks at him for a moment before putting hsi hands in his pockets and walking away
[dayse] and buddy wants to call out to him, but he can't take the words back
[rachel] and duck just keeps walking, feeling like he always did when buddy handed him shirt after they fucked
[dayse] and the next time buddy comes to him, duck can't take him back
[rachel] and buddy doesn't know what to do
[rachel] because he doesn't have duck anymore
[dayse] and that's so much worse than he ever thought it could be
[rachel] and maybe, buddy thinks, it was love
[rachel] but he didn't know how to recognize it
[rachel] because it was just duck
[dayse] and he thought duck would just always be there
[rachel] and then duck leaves for good and buddy doesn't know what to do
[rachel] so he becomes a cop
[dayse] and marries sandra oh
[rachel] and then one day, duck comes back, older, wiser, still gay. and buddy's lost to him again
[rachel] but this time, he can't do anything about it. because he fucked up and duck's too smart to do that again
[dayse] duck doesn't talk about what he's seen off the island, and even though he's still good and kind, he won't let himself be taken advantage of again
[dayse] and buddy sees that, too, and he realizes even as he regrets how he was in the past, he doesn't know how to be with duck any other way
[dayse] so they pass each other once in a while, talk awkwardly, and pretend things never happened
[rachel] but he reaches out to buddy. and he tries to be friends, but buddy can't understand duck anymore
[rachel] doesn't even introduce him to his wife.
[rachel] even though duck knows who she is and knows how sad buddy is with her. because at one time, buddy looked at him like that
[dayse] like he didn't quite belong in his bed, like he loved him but he wasn't sure why or how he had gotten there
[rachel] so duck turns his attentions elsewhere and finds dan. and buddy knows what's happening, but he doesn't say anythign eitehr way
[rachel] and when he gets the chance to help duck, he does. and duck knows it was him
[rachel] but he's got dan. so buddy knows all he can do is keep them from being hurt for as long as he can
[rachel] that's the only way he can make it up to duck in some small way
[dayse] and duck knows, and he's grateful, and a few of the small barriers he's built up when it comes ot buddy come down
[dayse] and he can see him again as he did in high school: a decent guy under the posturing, a person who can do good for the people he cares about
[rachel] and one day, buddy runs into duck doing repairs on a house. and buddy sits on the steps and smokes a cigarette with him
[dayse] and they talk, tentatively, sharing a smoke, talking about the weather, sports, local chatter, and it starts to get comfortable again
[rachel] and buddy, trying to be a friend to duck, asks how dan is
[rachel] and duck just smiles a little and nods
[dayse] and says 'he's good, we're good' and smiles again, squinting a bit and asks buddy about work and his wife
[dayse] and buddy answers more or less the same
[rachel] and for the first time in like 20 years, they're okay again