fic (sort of): a right to the chin (due south)

[visionshadows]

When I
was young, I saw
a girl wearing a blue
skirt and I fell in love. I set
my mind,

my sights
on her and won
her hand in marriage. We
were supposed to live happy and
in love.

Today
I sit silent
and wonder if you know
how I betrayed you, touching
her thighs

with my
hands. Everytime
you left, I fell further
into hidden desires. She
touches

me and
I am alive.
We promised truth and I
only give you lies. How will you
forgive me?

Alone
again. Far from
you and far from me. I
am not Ray, but another face
without

a true
name. Please tell me,
can you see me? Am I
still the man you love despite what
I have

done? Or
because of it?
I was your rebel yell.
Now I am your burden to bear
alone.

I shot
a man when I
was twenty-six. He drew
his gun on me, but I fired
first. I

don’t
regret it. I
would do it again if
I had to. That night I fucked
a man

for the
first time. You were
asleep in our bed alone.
His lips were not like yours. They were
better.