(no subject)

it went really well. i actually feel very good about the future of my relationship with joe. i feel pretty empty because he's not here and he won't be here for awhile.

found this GREAT irish pub in center city called Fado. lois, i am SO taking you there. and i got you a present from there, but you have to guess what it is :)

i'm so incredibly wired and i don't want to go to class again tomorrow. midterms are in two weeks. it's too soon. i hate my life.

(no subject)

it went really well. i actually feel very good about the future of my relationship with joe. i feel pretty empty because he's not here and he won't be here for awhile.

found this GREAT irish pub in center city called Fado. lois, i am SO taking you there. and i got you a present from there, but you have to guess what it is :)

i'm so incredibly wired and i don't want to go to class again tomorrow. midterms are in two weeks. it's too soon. i hate my life.

depression...

i really shouldn't be this apathetic about school already. seriously, i have no desire to go or even pass this semester. if i could get away with it, i would withdrawl right now and just be a bum for another semester and than start school in the winter. i don't know what's wrong with me. and i want to take a page from the book of Wax and just not go to school but that's the downside of living at home. there are people here to look at me and say grrr when i don't go. like tuesday when i was honestly sick, i got all kinds of evil looks from the parents for not going to classes.

i'm starting to get that trapped feeling that i had at rutgers. when i lie in bed at night i can't breath and i toss and turn and my chest feels tight and i just. can't. sleep. i feel like everything is closing in and i just want to run and hide but i can't. there's no place for me to go. the last time i had that, i had a nervous breakdown, quit school, and stopped talking to the therapist my parents thought would help me. i stopped talking to everyone except patrick and karen really.

my chest is tight and i can't breath very well. i have to go shower so i can go get on the train and commute.

i think i want to cry.

depression...

i really shouldn't be this apathetic about school already. seriously, i have no desire to go or even pass this semester. if i could get away with it, i would withdrawl right now and just be a bum for another semester and than start school in the winter. i don't know what's wrong with me. and i want to take a page from the book of Wax and just not go to school but that's the downside of living at home. there are people here to look at me and say grrr when i don't go. like tuesday when i was honestly sick, i got all kinds of evil looks from the parents for not going to classes.

i'm starting to get that trapped feeling that i had at rutgers. when i lie in bed at night i can't breath and i toss and turn and my chest feels tight and i just. can't. sleep. i feel like everything is closing in and i just want to run and hide but i can't. there's no place for me to go. the last time i had that, i had a nervous breakdown, quit school, and stopped talking to the therapist my parents thought would help me. i stopped talking to everyone except patrick and karen really.

my chest is tight and i can't breath very well. i have to go shower so i can go get on the train and commute.

i think i want to cry.

(no subject)

Happy Birthday, Dine

see and the funny part of that was that i actually wrote happy britney, dine first...but then caught my mistake and fixed it. but hey, if you want, have a happy britney as well. ::grins::

(no subject)

Happy Birthday, Dine

see and the funny part of that was that i actually wrote happy britney, dine first...but then caught my mistake and fixed it. but hey, if you want, have a happy britney as well. ::grins::

(no subject)

they just stepped up the security everywhere in the country. this morning when i got to the 8th and Market station to get on the El, one side was covered with police. You couldn't get in to the eastbound side. I don't know what was going on and I missed the first half of the news but there were police on every train today.

I did my thing. I paid my money. I sat in a seat or held on to the bar for deal life and went about my life.

It's also National Coming Out Day. I seem to go to the one college in the area that doesn't seem to think they should have anything about that going on. There was nothing going on today. I love my school. I have mentioned that before, right?

Classes went better than expected. I sat in the back with Ben and Irina and we made fun of Faulkner and discovered that our Prof can't really hear us because Ben made a really, really funny comment that more than half the class heard and she just looked up and said that she missed that. Which is a big shame.

I have a ton of work to do but I feel vaguely accomplished because I found an article to use for my Psych midterm on how smaller schools can increase educational value. Considering my Prof is currently trying to get a charter school off and running, I think this is a good article. I just need to check and make sure that it qualifies.

I have to go make dinner. Because I'm starving.

POAF has come back with 2 out of 4 beta's replying. I've also gotten 2 out of 4 on Joe The Lion. Maybe something will be posted later tonight. Who knows. Maybe not.

::wanders off in search of food::

(no subject)

they just stepped up the security everywhere in the country. this morning when i got to the 8th and Market station to get on the El, one side was covered with police. You couldn't get in to the eastbound side. I don't know what was going on and I missed the first half of the news but there were police on every train today.

I did my thing. I paid my money. I sat in a seat or held on to the bar for deal life and went about my life.

It's also National Coming Out Day. I seem to go to the one college in the area that doesn't seem to think they should have anything about that going on. There was nothing going on today. I love my school. I have mentioned that before, right?

Classes went better than expected. I sat in the back with Ben and Irina and we made fun of Faulkner and discovered that our Prof can't really hear us because Ben made a really, really funny comment that more than half the class heard and she just looked up and said that she missed that. Which is a big shame.

I have a ton of work to do but I feel vaguely accomplished because I found an article to use for my Psych midterm on how smaller schools can increase educational value. Considering my Prof is currently trying to get a charter school off and running, I think this is a good article. I just need to check and make sure that it qualifies.

I have to go make dinner. Because I'm starving.

POAF has come back with 2 out of 4 beta's replying. I've also gotten 2 out of 4 on Joe The Lion. Maybe something will be posted later tonight. Who knows. Maybe not.

::wanders off in search of food::

ben's away message

you know the world is right again when ben's always on aim and his away messages are back up. god i missed them. here's today's:

Is it absolutely necessary to scream when you're falling out of a window? I really think screaming would be the last thing to cross my mind...but gosh I'd hate to break with tradition....I wrote the first part of this away message before i tumbled out of my bed the other day. If you've seen my room, you know my bed is about seven feet off the ground--After I fell I was very disappointed in myself when I realized that I had in fact, forgone tradition and forgotten to scream. Rest assured I screamed quite a bit once I landed....


note: i remember when he DID fall out of his bed. adam took pictures of it and made a webpage for it. god, it was great. :)

ben's away message

you know the world is right again when ben's always on aim and his away messages are back up. god i missed them. here's today's:

Is it absolutely necessary to scream when you're falling out of a window? I really think screaming would be the last thing to cross my mind...but gosh I'd hate to break with tradition....I wrote the first part of this away message before i tumbled out of my bed the other day. If you've seen my room, you know my bed is about seven feet off the ground--After I fell I was very disappointed in myself when I realized that I had in fact, forgone tradition and forgotten to scream. Rest assured I screamed quite a bit once I landed....


note: i remember when he DID fall out of his bed. adam took pictures of it and made a webpage for it. god, it was great. :)

(no subject)

ow. ow. ow. ow.

i swear, i'm so glad i started watching ER again.

okay. romano signed 'i'll see you later' to reese which was just adorable because it's romano and he doesn't do ANYthing nice. *sigh* but malucci got fired.

::sniffs::

i love malucci. i love romano. hmm...i think i needs to go find me some more malucci/romano...

(no subject)

ow. ow. ow. ow.

i swear, i'm so glad i started watching ER again.

okay. romano signed 'i'll see you later' to reese which was just adorable because it's romano and he doesn't do ANYthing nice. *sigh* but malucci got fired.

::sniffs::

i love malucci. i love romano. hmm...i think i needs to go find me some more malucci/romano...