I love my bed. I love my laptop because I can stay in my bed.

Kate and Karen's gifts seem to be working. Kevin knows about his. Not sure if it's working yet. I'm also not sure about Mike.

I'm working today out of the goodness of my heart. M2 is leaving early, at one actually, and I said I would come in and work floor so they weren't so shorthanded. Though, me working the floor isn't exactly a big help. Maybe I'll just position myself by the key machine and be like 'I can do this!' It's been awhile since I've actually had to work floor. It should be interesting.

Then off to PepBoys to get my oil changed and my tire fixed. It must be done or else I won't be allowed to use my car. Apparently my father doesn't want me driving on a doughnut. Weird.

***



Doing the Secret Slash thing. ::grins:: Here's to hoping I don't get something involving Brian. Because...um. No. I can't write him for some reason.

::prays for some Jola::

Hell...I'll even write JuC before B/anyone.

I should shower and go to work. Yes. That sounds like a good idea. Toodles.


[Edit]: Because this made me laugh muchly and I love Kate for writing this...It's the um...ode to me!

Click me!"

I love my bed. I love my laptop because I can stay in my bed.

Kate and Karen's gifts seem to be working. Kevin knows about his. Not sure if it's working yet. I'm also not sure about Mike.

I'm working today out of the goodness of my heart. M2 is leaving early, at one actually, and I said I would come in and work floor so they weren't so shorthanded. Though, me working the floor isn't exactly a big help. Maybe I'll just position myself by the key machine and be like 'I can do this!' It's been awhile since I've actually had to work floor. It should be interesting.

Then off to PepBoys to get my oil changed and my tire fixed. It must be done or else I won't be allowed to use my car. Apparently my father doesn't want me driving on a doughnut. Weird.

***



Doing the Secret Slash thing. ::grins:: Here's to hoping I don't get something involving Brian. Because...um. No. I can't write him for some reason.

::prays for some Jola::

Hell...I'll even write JuC before B/anyone.

I should shower and go to work. Yes. That sounds like a good idea. Toodles.


[Edit]: Because this made me laugh muchly and I love Kate for writing this...It's the um...ode to me!

Click me!"

randomness that turned into religion...um...yeah

Going to work for a few hours was nice. It got me moving and social on a cold, dark, rainy Saturday that I would have otherwise spent in bed sleeping...

Wait...what was the upside to working for a few hours?

It's pouring today. Finally. We need the rain so badly yet I hate that it's raining. I have stuff to do! Like go get my car fixed. But now that I'm home and I'm warm and I'm comfortable and there's a big bowl of pasta and a cup of coffee next to me, I don't want to go and sit in Pep Boys. Nope. Not one bit.

I've decided when Karen and I do our vacation together, that we should take my car. Yeah, it's small but it's a great road trip car. And once I get the new sound system in it, it'll be even better. So yeah. Now we have wheels but no destination or money. I do know that I really want to do it. I want to go on vacation with Karen so badly.

I should call Waryne tonight to see how he's doing. And to let him know that 'Hey did you hear about Waryne getting some?' is now a way to start a conversation among any of the people who either know him or know of him and his current situation where he's getting booty. Finally. 27 years is a long time to wait for booty.

I also should call Karen so we can just talk. I miss her and we need to have some Karen/Rachel time. And drinks. I think a couple of drinks tonight would be nice. Or sometime soon.

Tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah and I have no gifts for the fam. Technically, I can say to my sister 'Hey, you're Catholic. I don't have to get you anything 'till Christmas' and be okay. That's a whole other thing. It's kind of weird to me. My parents let us choose our own religion in the sense they don't force us to be Jewish. My Dad is a non-practicing Lutheran because he hates all organized religion but he does seem to identify with Judaism fairly well. Mom and I are straight out Jewish. That's what I am and I don't ever want to back away from my religion. Leah chose Catholism about a year ago and she has kept it. I think I have the biggest issues with it in the family. I don't like that my sister is Catholic. There's nothing wrong with being Catholic, but that's not what we are. I feel like she's forgetting her heritage. She says that she's adopted and she's not really a Jew but her birth mother was Jewish as well. She likes to forget that fact. Especially after taking the Holocaust course, I identify so strongly with my heritage and I love it. I could never imagine being anything else, practicing anything else. And it hurts me to see her wearing a cross or reading the Bible. I'm glad she has a faith but as horrible as it is to say, I wish it was mine. I read about Em's struggles with her religion and how her parents don't really support her and I don't want to have us do that to my sister. My mother isn't comfortable with it either but no one has outright told her that it was wrong and she's denying herself. But that's the way I feel.

I just need to accept her religion. I hope that someday I can.

randomness that turned into religion...um...yeah

Going to work for a few hours was nice. It got me moving and social on a cold, dark, rainy Saturday that I would have otherwise spent in bed sleeping...

Wait...what was the upside to working for a few hours?

It's pouring today. Finally. We need the rain so badly yet I hate that it's raining. I have stuff to do! Like go get my car fixed. But now that I'm home and I'm warm and I'm comfortable and there's a big bowl of pasta and a cup of coffee next to me, I don't want to go and sit in Pep Boys. Nope. Not one bit.

I've decided when Karen and I do our vacation together, that we should take my car. Yeah, it's small but it's a great road trip car. And once I get the new sound system in it, it'll be even better. So yeah. Now we have wheels but no destination or money. I do know that I really want to do it. I want to go on vacation with Karen so badly.

I should call Waryne tonight to see how he's doing. And to let him know that 'Hey did you hear about Waryne getting some?' is now a way to start a conversation among any of the people who either know him or know of him and his current situation where he's getting booty. Finally. 27 years is a long time to wait for booty.

I also should call Karen so we can just talk. I miss her and we need to have some Karen/Rachel time. And drinks. I think a couple of drinks tonight would be nice. Or sometime soon.

Tomorrow is the first night of Hanukkah and I have no gifts for the fam. Technically, I can say to my sister 'Hey, you're Catholic. I don't have to get you anything 'till Christmas' and be okay. That's a whole other thing. It's kind of weird to me. My parents let us choose our own religion in the sense they don't force us to be Jewish. My Dad is a non-practicing Lutheran because he hates all organized religion but he does seem to identify with Judaism fairly well. Mom and I are straight out Jewish. That's what I am and I don't ever want to back away from my religion. Leah chose Catholism about a year ago and she has kept it. I think I have the biggest issues with it in the family. I don't like that my sister is Catholic. There's nothing wrong with being Catholic, but that's not what we are. I feel like she's forgetting her heritage. She says that she's adopted and she's not really a Jew but her birth mother was Jewish as well. She likes to forget that fact. Especially after taking the Holocaust course, I identify so strongly with my heritage and I love it. I could never imagine being anything else, practicing anything else. And it hurts me to see her wearing a cross or reading the Bible. I'm glad she has a faith but as horrible as it is to say, I wish it was mine. I read about Em's struggles with her religion and how her parents don't really support her and I don't want to have us do that to my sister. My mother isn't comfortable with it either but no one has outright told her that it was wrong and she's denying herself. But that's the way I feel.

I just need to accept her religion. I hope that someday I can.

(no subject)

how ca n we stop believing

in what we see.

there was a time you could touch me and i would feel happy bu t
now

i feel dirty and

a

lone.

light streamed in the win dow
flittering across

th e bed.
shadows played ac r oss your face.

i thought maybe i loved you
th en.


how ca n we stop believing

in what we see.

li
e
to
m e
more.




fucker.

(no subject)

how ca n we stop believing

in what we see.

there was a time you could touch me and i would feel happy bu t
now

i feel dirty and

a

lone.

light streamed in the win dow
flittering across

th e bed.
shadows played ac r oss your face.

i thought maybe i loved you
th en.


how ca n we stop believing

in what we see.

li
e
to
m e
more.




fucker.

(no subject)

you grabbed my hand and pulled me out of harms way. pulled me into another world. another life i was unprepared for. another life i grew accustomed to and gradually grew to tolerate. like is far from the term i would use. i became your girl, your angel, your punching bag, your thought depository, your maid, your excuse, your reason for everything being fucked up, your reason for cheating, and finally your wife. a little person with no self-esteem to do your bidding. and make you dinner every night. and submit to your late night groping and fucking. so many things to one person. but i am nothing to myself. and each day begins and ends with alcohol. because i don't know who i am. and i don't like the person i see in the mirror. so i drink to change that image. to muddle it. to blur it. to send it askew. so i can pretend that image of a woman beaten down is not me at all. i am somewhere else waiting to be found by anyone but you.

(no subject)

you grabbed my hand and pulled me out of harms way. pulled me into another world. another life i was unprepared for. another life i grew accustomed to and gradually grew to tolerate. like is far from the term i would use. i became your girl, your angel, your punching bag, your thought depository, your maid, your excuse, your reason for everything being fucked up, your reason for cheating, and finally your wife. a little person with no self-esteem to do your bidding. and make you dinner every night. and submit to your late night groping and fucking. so many things to one person. but i am nothing to myself. and each day begins and ends with alcohol. because i don't know who i am. and i don't like the person i see in the mirror. so i drink to change that image. to muddle it. to blur it. to send it askew. so i can pretend that image of a woman beaten down is not me at all. i am somewhere else waiting to be found by anyone but you.