thoughts

[visionshadows]

my father and i were talking about how he feels about the attacks. he's said it was one of the strangest weeks of his life. the others are kennedy's assassination, three mile island, and mlk's assassination. he actually wants to find someway to make it more real to him. i realized the reason it is so real to me, and not just something on tv that i can turn on and off when neccessary, is that i've seen both sites. i saw the nyc skyline minus the towers. and on sunday night, we drove past the pentagon. it's not just something on tv to me and when i close my eyes, i see the actual sites. i see the way the pentagon was lit up and i can see how the side of the building was gutted and lights shining from the inside out. i can see the gap in the skyline and the smoke floating into the clear sky. it was a beautiful day when i saw that. the sky was clear and blue.

my father wants to get in his car and drive up to see the nyc skyline for himself so he knows what it really looks like. so he can't turn it on and off when he turns off the tv.

i think he should. it's helped me to know that it's real. i'm dealing better then i thought i would at the start. i'm okay.