Sometimes I think too much...

[visionshadows]

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life..."

I'm feeling very unsettled right now. Spent class today discussing Sylvia Plath, who despite her genius, I don't like. See. I know she's good. I respect that. I just don't want to read poetry that makes me want to slit my wrists. That said, I'll probably do my paper on her. [smacks forehead] Why you ask? I like to torture myself. And I think I can make a pretty good argument about her obsession with Nazi Germany. Which is really obvious so it's not that earth-shattering, but still. I also got my first paper back for that class and I'm pretty sure that's why I feel unsettled. I got a C+. I haven't gotten lower than an A on a English paper in two years. It's been even longer since I've actually gotten a C in any class that does not involve math. I don't like this feeling.

I was thinking on the way home about authors and the stories I associate them with. For example, I will always associate rhyssj with Montana. I associate cjmarlowe with Not a Pretty Boy, dayse with The Best Man, silviakundera with Tesseract, tigs with Middle of Nowhere, uhmidont with The Floating World, and callmesandy with The Wrong Band, and so forth. It's kind of odd to me, really. I have no idea why I associate those specific stories, but when I think of those people as authors, that's the story that comes to mind. I do this with a lot more people too, including myself. I will always associate myself with Human Behaviour. And now that I say that, I wonder if those authors are as disappointed as I am to be associated with that particular story.

You know, I shouldn't be allowed to drive alone in the rain anymore. I think waaaay too much about things that really don't matter and frankly, are kind of useless. I'm sure I could dwell on the C+ more as well as the fact I have two midterms next week and a villanelle or sestina due tomorrow. It's much easier to dwell on stuff than to actually make sense while thinking about pointless stuff.

Mmm...my coffee is delicious. It's called Cafe Valencia and it's coffee with hot chocolate and orange flavouring. Mmm...coffee.


I really have no desire to use any icon other than the hug anymore. I just feel better when I see them hugging.

Comments

[tigs.livejournal.com]

I wonder if those authors are as disappointed as I am to be associated with that particular story.

I don't know if that was a rhetorical question or not, but I decided to answer anyway. (Because, you know, heaven forbid I pass up a chance to talk about my writing...)

No, even though I've never been able to make myself read through the story as a whole and I cringe at the plot holes that I left near the beginning (well, actually I just prefer to forget the first 20 chapters exist) I'm not disappointed to be associated with MON. It was a story that developed me a lot as a writer, and it also proved to me that I could start a project at that scale and finish it. So to, you know, wrap this up, MON is not my favorite story I've written but I am proud of it all the same.t

[visionshadows.livejournal.com]

You know I love MON, and I think I always will. And actually, I do know why I associate you with MON. It's because I saw MON all the way through with you and it was the story that spawned HB and all of that. I have a connection with that story in that sense, and also because that story brought us together more as friends. :)

[ghettogreta.livejournal.com]

I know you didn't list me up there, but how can I not comment on this? :)

I find that no matter what I've written, I'll always be associated with College Life. And I like that story, but it's not my favorite of mine. And I often find I end up comparing everything I write to that. And it really makes me second guess myself a lot with other things I write.

[visionshadows.livejournal.com]

You're actually someone I should have put up there, because I do associate you with College Life. I think we've actually talked about this before. :) We both are associated with stories that aren't our favourites and I do the same thing. I second guess myself when I write something because it's not that accessible or I don't think it'll go over as well as HB. It sucks a lot of the time actually.

And for the record, I do love College Life, but my favourite story of yours is definitely Luster. Yet, I still associate you with College Life. See, if I started thinking about this more I would figure out why. :)

Re:

[ghettogreta.livejournal.com]

We did talk about this before! And I also love your Human Behaviour, but my favorite story of yours is Oranges and Vanilla, because you MADE me like a pairing I'd never have thought of.

Maybe because it's that I know everyone has read HB, so when I mention you, if I say, "you know, Human Behaviour Rachel," people always say, Yes! I do know! heh Odd.

[dayse.livejournal.com]

:::falls to knees, hugs your legs:::

Thank you for not saying Superman Can't Fly!!

[visionshadows.livejournal.com]

Hehe. You're welcome. Besides, I wouldn't say SCF because I hated you for SCF. You and SCF were my nemesis for awhile.

[shakes fist]

I hated you, dammit! Look what's happened to that hatred. I blame you.

[dayse.livejournal.com]

[hugs rachel]

You looooove me - bwahaha! It was all part of my evil master plan!

[taps skull] oh yeah, baby, it's all up there.

And I had a nemesis and I didn't even know! Coooool ;)